do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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