i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
