its not stalking. its research.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
