Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
