I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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