It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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