she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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