You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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