She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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