Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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