I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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