so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
