There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Less talking, more tequila
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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