if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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