and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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