It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
