He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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