the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
