I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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