i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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