Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
