I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
North Korea, Best Korea!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
only you would photoshop your dick
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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