He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize