Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
