Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
