i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
