That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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