if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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