Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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