What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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