Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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