so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
