i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
