i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he thought i was a dude.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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