It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
