I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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