i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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