Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
