I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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