the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.