Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?