new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.