Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.