I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
