It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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