If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
