i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
