thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
