Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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