We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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