Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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