I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
