I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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