You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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