I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
