Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
