Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
