you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
