She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
