I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize