1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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